Sonam Lavvanshi
Even in the midst of these changing circumstances, there are about seven crore widows in the Indian society. These widows can be seen spending the rest of their lives in places like Mathura, Vrindavan, Kashi and Banaras, with no identities. That is why even political parties do not consider them as their vote bank. There was never any mass movement for them.
The Maharashtra government has taken a progressive step in the past by ending the orthodox tradition for widows. In the India of the twenty first century, when values and morals are a matter of every moment, then there is absolutely no need to carry widow system in the society. Women and men have equal rights in the constitution, despite this, there are many evils related to banning women in the name of religious-social practices in the society.
Now they need to end. The fight for women’s emancipation and their rights was started by Raja Rammohun Roy in the nineteenth century itself. But why is the woman neglected even today? Keeping this in mind, now widow women in Maharashtra will not have to follow the custom of breaking bangles, wiping vermilion from their forehead and taking off mangalsutra. It has been decided to end this inhuman practice for widows in Hevarwada Gram Panchayat of Kolhapur.
Change is the law of life. In such a situation, if human society does not accept change, then it is natural to question the existence of human beings. In such a situation, changes should be accepted with ease. It cannot be denied that the attitude of the society towards widows is changing. A lot has changed since the present day. Widows started getting more rights in the in-laws, remarriage also started taking place and a new wind was visible in this direction. But, this kind of change does not happen in a day.
The thinking about widows is changing at the social and political level. It can be expected that this change will not be limited to a few families and some societies, it will be visible on a wider scale. Widow-widow introduction conferences have also started in some societies. When such steps are taken, only then the widows will also get the right to live their life. One thing is often said in the society that daughter-in-law is like a daughter. The daughter leaves after marriage, but the daughter-in-law stays at home.
But, many times the situation becomes such, when the beauty of the daughter-in-law, who is the beauty of the house, comes off. The color of the clothes wears off and in its place, he has to wear a cloak of Vaidyvaya. This is a very sad fact of life. Still life is to be lived. When family and society share this pain of life, then life becomes easy. Till a few years ago it was difficult to even think, but now the traditions of the society are breaking down. The beliefs started collapsing and the pain of widows started being shared. Now they too have started getting married, so that they can start a new life.
The way a family broke social taboos on this Akhatij in Dhar of Madhya Pradesh is a living example of the changing thinking of the society. In the in-laws’ house, the daughter-in-law should be respected like a daughter, the example of this was seen in this family of Dhar. He had lost his son during the Corona period. It was such a pain that it was not easy to compensate.
But, even after the death of the son, the mother-in-law kept the daughter-in-law like a daughter. The son and daughter-in-law also had a daughter. After much deliberation, it was decided that the widowed daughter-in-law should be remarried. That family got their widow daughter-in-law married for the second time on this Akshaya Tritiya and sent her off like a daughter. He also gave a house of sixty lakh rupees to his daughter-in-law as a gift in marriage.
This is not a fabricated story, it is a true incident, of which many people are witnesses. Yugprakash, who lives in Prakash Nagar, Dhar city, is a retired AGM from State Bank. He lost his son in the second wave of Corona. After this he somehow managed himself and his family. Then he also started worrying about the future of the widowed daughter-in-law. He thought of marrying the daughter-in-law for the second time, but the daughter-in-law did not agree.
After explaining a lot, he agreed for the second marriage. A few days later, her relationship with a young man from Nagpur was confirmed. Then the marriage also took place on this Aakhteej. The daughter also went to Nagpur with her mother to settle in a new family. Her ex-husband was a senior software engineer in a Bhopal company. After his death, the daughter-in-law was given a job by the company. The mother-in-law also gifted the house bought by the son in Nagpur to the daughter-in-law.
Such and other such incidents show that now the in-laws’ thinking towards daughter-in-law has started changing. Now the white dress was no longer the usual outfit for her. Gradually, such social thinking has started to flourish, when widows started getting remarried. In some societies, the introduction conferences of widow-widow marriages were also organized. Whereas, there was a time when it was considered a sin to even talk like this.
This consciousness that came in the society made it realize that being a widow is an accident, which cannot be experienced throughout life. Yes, even in the midst of these changing circumstances, there are about seven crore widows in the Indian society. These widows can be seen spending the rest of their lives in places like Mathura, Vrindavan, Kashi and Banaras, with no identities. That is why even political parties do not consider them as their vote bank. There was never any mass movement for them.
To understand the pain of widows, for the first time in the country after independence, Marty Chen and Jean Dreze did great research in 1995. He also organized a large workshop to share the results of his research, in which widows from different parts of the country participated. Many widows reported that although they were entitled by law to own their late husbands and the land given to them by their parents, they were often denied this.
Even at times the circumstances are such that they are declared ‘witches’ and sometimes their lives are also taken. All this happens in a democratic environment where the Constitution provides for equality before the law and freedom to lead a free life. Whether it is a woman or a man. According to Hindu beliefs, everyone is familiar with the form of Ardhanarishwar. Where Shiva represents the male and Parvati represents the female and this form shows somewhere that without both this creation and the world is incomplete. Then from where does the feeling of hatred towards women come from in the society?
Whether a woman is married or a widow, no one can snatch her place in the society. In such a situation, only by changing the thinking towards disciplines in one state or one area, this tradition in the society is not going to change completely. For this, now there is a need to awaken political and social consciousness in the whole country, because the population of seven crore is no less. We should unite for this right, because living a better life is everyone’s right.