Occasional disputes are common between any couple. But, if husband and wife keep fighting often, then it has a deep impact on the life and tender mind of children, says Monica Sharma.
Do you husband and wife also keep fighting over every issue? Have you forgotten how to talk politely? Has your child also started staying calm for a long time or has he started getting very angry? If the answer to all these questions is yes then it is no less than an alarm for you. It is necessary that both of you bring necessary changes in your nature in time, otherwise the fight between you both will start having negative impact on the child.
It is possible that when there are two people in the house, their opinions and thoughts will also be different. But we can get along well with each other while maintaining our different opinions and thoughts. Relationship expert and psychologist Dr. Anu Goyal says, ‘If husband and wife are from different backgrounds, it is natural for there to be differences of opinion between them. But the real thing is that when both of them fight, they both definitely reach some conclusion with agreement or disagreement. Parents should also take special care that this argument or fight does not happen every day. Also, we should behave in front of children in the same way as we expect from our children in future.
Many times, small children use many wrong words in their sweet dialect, which we laugh at and avoid at that time. But this thing is not worth avoiding, but worth paying attention to. It is believed that a child first learns from his home. In such a situation, if the child has parents fighting day and night, then the child will definitely learn the same thing. Arguments and fights happen because of stress. But in such a situation, shouting at each other in front of children is not right for the children either. Nowadays children have also started arguing. If you want your child to have healthy social and mental development, then present your point of view in the right manner and do not put pressure on others to accept your point of view. The child should never ask ‘Am I right or wrong’ to support his views. Due to this, there is a lot of pressure on the child’s brain. Taking the side of one of the parents and blaming the other may also create guilt in the child’s heart. That is why try to keep the child away from mutual fighting, and do not distance yourself from his/her heart. Let us know what effect parental fighting has on children:
on young children or infants
While small children cannot understand what their parents say, they understand your feelings very well. In families where parents often fight among themselves, children first cry and then calm down. They feel that now mom and dad will separate and will not live with us. At the same time, they also start feeling quite insecure. Many times you will notice a decrease in children’s playing and jumping. Also, they do not want to go to school or other places.
on older children
Parents often expect older children to take their side in fights. Many times they are filled with guilt and consider themselves responsible for this fight. Sometimes the opposite situation is also seen, in which the child takes someone’s side and later makes them agree to many things. Children whose parents always fight among themselves, do not come out openly in front of anyone, keep harboring their anger inside and are unable to express their feelings.
How to face this situation?
Today every person has his own place and identity, but parents should concentrate on their children, keeping aside their ego.
You fight, but definitely find the outcome of your fight in agreement or disagreement.
Don’t make children a part of your fight.
If husband and wife do not agree on something, then do not insult each other in front of the child. ‘Do not use abusive or negative language. ‘Don’t shout and talk to each other.
Most importantly, if you take care of each other, then both of you will take care of the child together.