We all have such moments in our lives, which shock us inside. Sometimes a relationship, sometimes a failure, or a pain that does not go over time. These are the bitter memories of the past, which we repeated in our minds, think and live under their influence. But have you ever wondered what we are losing by holding these bitter memories? The truth is that if we do not get out of these memories in time, then they can influence our career, relationship and mental health deeply.
Why are bitter memories so harmful?
Man’s brain remembers both positive and negative events. But the effect of negative memories is more deep and permanent. A wrong word, a unsuccessful interview, a broken relationship or any childhood incident-all of them sit in the mind and create self-sensation and guilt. We think, “I wish it would not have happened”, “Why did I do it”, “Why did he go” and such things slowly start to end our confidence.
How can you spoil your career?
When a person continues to think of the failures of the past, he is afraid of new challenges. Was there a failure in a presentation? Next time you will shy away from taking that work. Was there a mistake in a project? Instead of moving forward, you will start blaming yourself. This causes your confidence to fall and gradually affect your performance.
Many times people stop taking new responsibilities for fear of negative experiences, which leads them to stagnation in career. This is why successful people often say – “Past is a place of reference, not residence” means learn from the past, but don’t live in it.
How to put bad memories on relationships?
Many times an old relationship gives such a bitter experience that a person is afraid to re -love or trust someone. He feels that he does not have to face the same pain again. This fear makes him away from relationships. Many people weigh their current partner on the test of old relationships, which not only lacks trust, but also causes cracks in the new relationship. In other relationships, this effect is also seen, such as family, friends, or colleagues. When a person is always upset, irritable and depressed, people slowly start distance from him. And thus, the memories of the past also begin to swallow today’s relationships.
How to forget the bitter memories of the past?
It is not easy to forget memories, but with psychological and spiritual measures we can gradually calm our mind:
Accept – First of all, assume that what happened cannot change now. But you can definitely change its effect.
Writing – Writing your feelings, lightens the mind. Write without stopping in the diary what you felt.
Sorry and free – whether it is you or someone else, it is important to forgive. It frees the soul.
Made away from negativity-make distance from those, things and habits that pull you into the past again and again.
Start new activities – New hobby, travel to new place or a new skill, currently teaches you to live.
Meditation and Yoga – These exercises are the most effective means for mental stability and inner peace.
Consult – If needed, do not hesitate to seek the help of a psychological or counselor. This is not weakness, but understanding.
Give yourself another chance
Often people keep punishing themselves because of the past. But remember – Every person makes a mistake, and every person does a new chance, first of all. If you try to understand, accept and groom yourself today, then tomorrow can be very beautiful.
Holding the bitter memories of the past is the same as holding the ember in the hand is sure to burn. It is difficult to leave these memories, but not impossible. This decision is yours – you want to live with the past pain or to be happy in the present. Life is small, and every moment is priceless. So why not leave tomorrow and live today – with full energy, enthusiasm and hope.
