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Love before marriage, embarrassment and the same relationship is a symbol of respect after marriage? Know the reason for this dual spirit of society

by Kavita Nagar
August 13, 2025
शादी से पहले प्यार शर्मिंदगी और वही रिश्ता शादी के बाद सम्मान का प्रतीक क्यों ? जानिए समाज की इस दोहरी भावना का कारण 

We are part of a society where there are many double parameters. One of these is that love before marriage is shameful, while love becomes respectable after marriage. If a couple holds each other’s hand before marriage, it is declared shameless, but after marriage the same couple becomes a “perfect couple”. Does love really change so much after marriage? Or is it just a game of false beliefs of society? Let us try to understand why society considers love before marriage and love after marriage is respectable.

It is wrong to love without permission!

Actually, the society has no problem with love, it has a problem with the fact that he is falling in love with “whose permission”. Love is considered wrong before marriage because he does not have the approval of parents, relatives and caste-fraternities. But as soon as the marriage takes place in a religious custom, the same relationship is accepted. Here the depth of love does not matter, but social permission matters.

Respect is more important than happiness!

“What will people say?” Fear of this feeling in our society is so deep that there is no value for the happiness of a person. If boys and girls love their own will, they are seen with the honor of the family. But if this relationship is after marriage, then it becomes a symbol of family dignity. This proves that society is interested in control, not in love.

Only marriage makes love holy!

Does marriage really change the meaning of love? How has love remained dirty till yesterday, how did it become pure today? Actually, marriage is just a bond, which gives the relationship legal and religious recognition. Love remains the same, just in the eyes of the society, its legitimacy changes.

Discrimination is a major reason for this

This double criterion is more rigid for girls. If a girl loves before marriage, she is called “characterless”, but it is considered a mistake for the boy. Even after marriage, the girl is expected to become a “Sita-Savitri”, while the boy is generous. This patriarchal thinking shows that society sees the love of girls with suspicion.

Parents’ choice better!

Our society believes that if parents decide the relationship, it is better. But if two people themselves choose each other, then it is not considered. It is believed that due to lack of age and experience, the youth are unable to choose the right partner for themselves. Therefore, parents’ choice is considered more secure.

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