There are some incidents in every person’s life that leave deep wounds. Whether these incidents are of childhood, relationships or any loss or humiliation, their influence can last long on the mentality and lifestyle of the person. Sticking from a painful past can break a person mentally and physically, and it affects not only the present, but also on the possibilities of the future.
When the shadow of the past becomes the burden on the present
There are many people who remember the past pain, mistakes and trauma repeatedly. They also live the same pain in their present, repeatedly feel the same pain as if that incident happened today. Such behavior falls in the category of “unresolved trauma” or “chronic rumination” according to mental health experts. This means-repeated thinking on the negative experiences and let them dominate themselves. Such people often struggle with problems like depression (depression), anxiety (anxiety), lack of confidence and disabled in decision making. They are unable to trust others, blame themselves or always complain about circumstances.
Why can’t people leave bad memories of the past?
Being associated with tragic memories often acts like a psychological security shield. The person thinks that if he remembers that pain, then in the future he will not make such a mistake or he will not suffer the same. Many times it can also be a subconscious attempt to punish themselves, especially when the person feels that he was responsible for a situation himself. Apart from this, some people repeated their pain again and again to get the sympathy and attention of others. They think that their past is their identity, and they would feel ’empty’ without her.
Bad past, can also affect relationships
Sad past feelings can also dissolve poison in the current relationships. For example, a person who has ever suffered emotional cheating, does not fully open in new relationships. Doubt in everything, demanding frequent security, or keeping a distance-all these can be the result of the past that the person is carrying with him till now. This not only deteriorates the new relationship, but that person also feels lonely and insecure. It becomes a vicious cycle – the pain of the past, the distance of the present and the uncertainty of the future.
What is the solution?
Bad past cannot be erased, but can be learned and moved forward. It is necessary for this:
Accepting: The first step is to assume that something wrong happened in the past, which caused pain. It should not be pressed, but should face it.
Sorry: Whether it is his own mistake or someone else’s, forgiveness is a kind of liberation. When you forgive, lighten your mind.
To take professional help: Sometimes it is difficult to remove the depths of the past from itself. In such a situation, it can be helpful to talk to a psychologist or counselor.
Adopting new thinking: Remind yourself again and again that you are not a past. You are a changed, learning and moving soul.
