I often had conversations with a female employee of my company. One day, seeing his bad mood, I asked him what happened? What he told is common for all of us. She told that during the meeting, she was trying many times to explain her point to her senior, but the senior was not ready to listen to her. But, when a fellow male employee explained the same thing, the boss immediately understood and agreed. This is not the first time this has happened and it is not one person’s problem. I have seen other instances where a female employee was harassed because male colleagues underestimated her abilities. When my friend shared her complaint with me, I realized how many such incidents we have been ignoring. When I talked to some other female employees in the office, I came to know that in the meetings they are often asked whether they have understood or not, whereas for men the boss is confident that they would have understood the thing in one go. Not only this, even when they express their views in meetings, women employees have to face repeated interruptions. There is a different term used for this behavior of men: Mansplaining. That means men explaining everything in detail to women. Let us know how to deal with this situation effectively:
ask questions
If someone in the office, despite being less than your capability, is interrupting you on any subject or wants to prove you wrong, then you should question him. This question should be full of morale, which shows your grip on the subject. You should ask the other person to present the basis of his/her point and ask such questions that can make him/her feel respected.
raise your voice
Just like my friend did, she raised her voice at the same time and made it clear to everyone why her point was not actually understood. Similarly, if something like this happens to you too, then raise your voice at the same time and present your views with full authority. You just have to take care that your words reflect authority, not anger or reaction.
communicate in writing
As much as possible, send or order things in writing at such a place so that you have evidence to prove your point and no one can prove you wrong, even if it is your boss. Try to communicate mostly through email and if you are using WhatsApp, keep the messages safe. WhatsApp is not considered official in practice, so email is the safest method.
assert authority over your work
Women are often stripped of their credit, especially when faced with a man. But don’t let this happen to you in the office. For this you will have to assert authority over your work. If you are handling any work, then do not shy away from praising yourself and your team in front of everyone through email or in a verbal conversation in the office. Also tell how you have done that work together with your team. In this way, you will not only give authority over your work, but the message of your capabilities will also be clearly conveyed to everyone in the office.
take the joke route
Sometimes the situation does not favor you and you have to listen to things even if you don’t want to. There is a way out of this, joking. Many times we resort to arm’s length methods as well. Whatever they cannot say directly, they remind people of their dignity by jokingly saying the same thing. You have to do the same in the office also. You have to express your objection to the conversation itself and call it a joke before it gets worse. Believe me, next time your colleague will definitely be alert before sharing knowledge.
Presentation: Swati Sharma
What is mansplaining?
After learning new recipes, teach mom to use a ladle in the kitchen. Don’t you understand? You must have noticed that many people, just to prove their capability and to put themselves above you, are giving the same knowledge which the other person already knows. And this work happens mostly with women, both at home and outside. The perpetrators are men, either as a boss, as a co-worker or as a family member. They also come to give knowledge to women on issues about which they do not know anything, like pregnancy. This habit of men is called mansplaining, in which men get addicted to explaining something in detail especially to women because they think that it is a woman, so how would she know.
