Restraint is the ability to control one’s conduct, behavior, speech and actions. Its main component is patience, which we get from our own values. Now let’s talk about values, which means how we behave in different environments despite adverse circumstances. If we get inspiration from values to maintain restraint, then restraint helps in following the values. These values reside within us.
Right from our childhood, our inner self continuously evaluates whatever reactions we see from people in our family and surrounding social environment in different situations. The conclusion of that assessment is reflected in our own conduct and behavior. This is what our values are called. In this way it was proved that a person’s values depend on his family, social environment and lifestyle.
Most parents want to prevent their children from having wrinkles on their forehead. They want to fulfill the wishes of their children immediately. They feel that this is the measure of their unlimited love for their children. He believes that words like restraint and patience are not made for children. That’s why they don’t teach children to control their desires. When these children reach adolescence after childhood, they are not able to behave with restraint and dignity in the slightest adverse situation in their school or other social groups, then it is said that today’s children lack values. The question arises that where did this decline in values come from? The answer is that his first teachers – his parents – did not give him the opportunity to learn these qualities.
By the time one reaches puberty, this problem becomes even more severe. Most of the youth find themselves incapable of facing any unpleasant and adverse situation. Often they find it difficult to take patient and wise decisions. This is the reason why the tendency of suicide among students is continuously increasing. As we progress in life, it becomes difficult to establish harmony between professional and marital life.
Due to lack of habit of compromise with patience, partnerships are breaking and the number of divorces is increasing day by day. The percentage of young men and women who, after seeing and hearing such news, decide not to commit to lifelong marriage is also increasing rapidly, which is a warning for our social structure. There is a saying that ‘better late than never’, there is a need that we should still be alert and understand our responsibilities as parents and motivate our children to move forward towards becoming responsible, restrained and cultured citizens.
Right from childhood, instead of fulfilling their every wish, teach them to differentiate between necessary and unnecessary, teach them to wait patiently for the fulfillment of their desires. In case of unruly behavior, calmly explain the correct method. Be it at home or outside, the restrained behavior of elders in front of children helps them in learning the right values. It is the moral responsibility of parents to raise their children as cultured citizens. That is why it is said that raising children properly is a penance.
Shiva Srivastava