According to National Health Service, the sexual desire of women decreases after pregnancy and delivery. British reality TV star and fitness coach Holi Hagan Blith says that the same happened to him after his son’s birth. While co-scripting the Parenting Helpline program of CBB, Blaith said about his experience, “I thought if I just say that, ‘Look, if you don’t touch me, I don’t mind. I felt the same at that time.” Sex and relationship therapist Rechal Gold says that six months after the child’s birth, women often feel that they need to be intimate again.
She says, “I think it can fool people. She feels that this is the right time to have sex. But this is not true.” Holi reported that after the birth of his son Alpha-Jacques in 2023, his sexual desire declined significantly and he started abstaining with any kind of intimacy. She says, “Whenever I would express love to my husband Jacob, touch or hug them, she would look at it from another point of view. But I did not want to have sex.” “I started looking at every initiative of my husband negatively.”
Holi says that talking openly has proved to be helpful for her. According to him, “I started to say how I am feeling. I started saying that whenever I hug or touch you, don’t take it too loudly. Because it makes me feel like moving back and going away. This improved things because the pressure was reduced.” But her husband Jacob began to fear that Holi may not like her anymore.
Holi said, “I explained to my husband that you have to understand that it has nothing to do with you. I feel the same at this time, but my thoughts have not changed for you at all.” I said, “I don’t feel like having sex right now and maybe not even for the next few months. I am going through a similar mental state. I have to get out of it myself.” Holi wants couples who are facing such a situation, they should talk openly about it. She says, “People say that the relationship changes after the arrival of the child, but the truth is when you are going through that era.”
What do experts say?
Maternity and gynecologist Dr. Jennifer Lincoln says that there can be many reasons for women not having sex after delivery. She explains, “The body needs a lot of rest after delivery. It takes about six weeks for the uterus to get into its original position. Vagina or perineum injuries also cure gradually.”
In addition, hormonal changes in women at this time are also very fast. These changes can also affect their sexual desire. He said, “In such a situation, the level of hormones like estrogen and progesterone in women’s body suddenly falls. Estrogen deficiency can cause physical changes. This can cause dryness in the vagina. This can cause pain during sex.” Dr. Jennifer Lincoln says, “People often think that menopause leads to rapid changes in hormone levels in women. But in fact, these changes are the highest in the days of childbirth.”
Professional advice
Its effect is not limited to pregnant women only. Franky, who became a mother three months ago, is the listener of CBB’s parenting helpline. He says that his male partner was away from sex in those days. She says, “I hate my body at this time. I just want my partner to pay some more attention to me. But now he is not interested in sex.” I feel strange. “Therapist Rachel Gold says that men sometimes have difficulty in expressing their feelings.
According to him, “With becoming a father, feelings of responsibility can emerge among men. This can be a big reason that they take less interest in sex.” Fleer Parker of the pre-delivery charity organization NCT says that dealing with these feelings is usually not a priority of men. She says, “It may be helpful to talk openly about your feelings with your partner, do not assume what is happening or what is going on in your mind.”
Jennifer suggests that couples who are going through difficulties should seek help. According to him, “Some new parents easily mold, knowing that intimacy will naturally return, while others go through much stress.” She says, “If it is causing serious stress in the relationship, then I will suggest professional help, whether it is counseling, sex therapy, or any persistent physical problem.” Yes.”
Some important advice of experts
It is important to consider the decrease in the desire of sex to be normal. Understanding that it is completely normal and is not just a mental state, reduces pressure to find other reasons.
Women who are going through such changes should be patient with the natural healing process of their body.
Talk openly with your partner about your needs and expectations.
