The relationship between husband and wife is like two wheels of a vehicle. If one wheel stops working, the vehicle cannot move forward, even if the other wheel is fine. For this reason, religious texts describe husband and wife as complementary to each other. The bond between husband and wife is not limited to just living together or fulfilling family responsibilities; Rather, religious texts and scriptures consider this relationship to be the most sacred of all bonds. However, 90% of people think of love as just physical attraction or emotional attachment, whereas in the Sanatana tradition, the love between husband and wife has a much deeper and lasting meaning.
What is the real definition of love?
accepting each other unconditionally
support each other in difficult times
Keeping your ego aside and giving priority to the relationship
understanding each other’s soul
Amidst all this, an important question arises: What exactly should the love between husband and wife be like? The basic principle governing the relationship and love between husband and wife is stated in the scriptures and Vedas as follows:
*Janitriva Prati Haryasi Sunum Sam Twa Dadhami Prithivim Prithivya.
Ukha Kumbhi Vedyam Ma Vyathistha Yajnyadhairajyenaatishakta.* — Atharvaveda 12.3.23
Meaning: O men and women! Just as a mother loves her son, love each other in the same way. I make you as big and stable (*sama dadhami*) as the earth. Just as an earthen pot (*Ukha*) placed on the altar of Yagya remains firm, in the same way you too remain firm on your *Dharma* (right duty) amidst the difficulties of life. This mantra presents an ideal for household life (*Grihastha*), in which love is not limited to physical attraction alone, but becomes as deep and constant as *Vatsalya* (pure, motherly affection). Moreover, this message acts as the key to maintain peace and unbreakable bond in the family. Simply put, there must be a selfless (unconditional) love between husband and wife—just like the love a mother has for her child. The love between husband and wife should be such that, free from any desire for personal gain, both think only of each other’s well-being. Therefore, selflessness serves as an essential foundation of love in marital life.
Husband-wife relationship: like a sacred duty
In Hinduism, marriage is not considered merely a social contract but is seen as a “grihastha ashram” (householder stage of life). Under this arrangement, it is the sacred duty of both husband and wife to try to enrich and better the lives of each other. The marital union of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvati is a profound symbol of the fact that husband and wife are complementary to each other, not competitors.
Dedication: The True Foundation
According to religious texts, true love is one that is devoid of selfishness, and instead involves a feeling of dedication and sacrifice. The life of Lord Rama and Goddess Sita is an excellent example of this ideal. In their relationship, trust, mutual respect and adherence to *dharma* (loyalty) were given top priority.
Respect and Trust: Essential Pillars
According to religious principles, love resides only where respect and trust prevail. Therefore, true love is characterized not just by the presence of feelings, but—even more importantly—by the act of understanding and respecting each other’s feelings.
