It is often said that we fight and get angry with the people we love the most. It may seem strange that we hurt the feelings of our loved ones with our words, who love us more than anything, but it is a psychological tendency found in many people around the world. However, this does not justify the fact that many people constantly hurt their wives, mothers, and friends who love them very much, and then wrap it up by saying, “We love them, so of course we’re going to be angry at them.” Let’s find out why we hurt the people we love.
sense of security
We are very polite to strangers or people we don’t like very much, because we are afraid that if we are harsh with them, they will abandon us. But we don’t have this fear with the people we love. According to psychology, this initial thought that “no matter what I do, they will never leave me” makes us angry at them. We consider them “easy targets”.
displacement of emotions
We are not able to express the insults and anger that happen throughout the day in the office or outside. As soon as we come home, we vent out all our pent-up anger on those who love us, because showing anger on outsiders can have serious consequences, but we target our loved ones on the pretext that they understand us.
expectations
The closer we are to someone, the higher our expectations become. We want them to understand our feelings without saying anything. When they don’t live up to our expectations, our disappointment turns to anger, and we hurt them with words.
not being able to see one’s shortcomings
The people who love us the most are like mirrors for us. When they point out our shortcomings or acknowledge our weaknesses, we become uncomfortable. Because of this feeling of insecurity, we try to put others down with words in self-defense.
